Monday, February 7, 2011

Week 4 - Weigh In

Loss for the week: -3.8 lbs
Starting weight: 238.0 lbs
Current weight: 230.8 lbs
Total loss to date: 7.2 lbs
Total Percentage Lost: 3.03%

I made Weight Loss awards for myself kind of like how Weight Watchers does, so for each 5 pounds I lose, I will be putting up a reward star. I think I’ll also make a couple for % of weight loss and put them up when I reach 5%, 10%, etc.

I think a big part of my weight loss for the week had to do with stress. I didn’t get to any exercise last week and had times where I was too disgusted with what was going on that I couldn’t even eat. I think I went a whole 24 hours without eating at one point.

I will write each of my current worries right now below:

Finding an Apartment for March 1st:
I started out looking for an apartment in the same district as Lukas’ school, but haven’t had much luck finding anything. I’m not sure if it will even matter if the school is in the district though, if I have to take him to Day Care for before and after school because I have to leave for work before he goes to school and work until after he is back. So if I find an apartment outside of the school district, I have to find a day care that will take him before and after school AND provide him a ride to and from school. Right now I think my best bet is to use the before and after program that his school provides, but I don’t know if I can afford it and how much, if any, assistance I will get paying for it. I’m also worried about putting my current land lord on my application for other apartments. He seems like he understands what is going on right now and that I don’t really have a choice but to break the lease right now, but it’s still breaking the lease. So if new Apartment Managers call him, I’m assuming he will tell them I am breaking the lease and possibly that we have paid rent late a few times, which probably isn’t what a new Apartment Manager wants to hear.

Child Care/Babysitting:
I found out that I do qualify for Child Care assistance, but am still waiting to hear how MUCH assistance I qualify for. It could be $10 a month; it could be $300 a month! Right now I have no idea. So I can’t really make any decisions on Day Care until I find out more information on that. Also, my mother would like to continue watching the kids two days a week, but that would not work for Lukas if we are not in the same school district since I would need to take him somewhere that has access to get him to school. Also, most Day Cares don’t accept part time for children less than 2 years of age. So I now have to wait to see if it would be cheaper to pay my Mom for a full week of babysitting with no assistance, or if it will be cheaper to take Brayden to a full time daycare where I can get assistance.

Food Stamps and Monthly Expenses:
I currently qualify for Food Stamps considering in the rent I am paying now (which I couldn’t even afford to pay by myself if I hadn’t have gotten my taxes back), but I had my caseworker check if I would still apply if my rent went down to $645 a month {which is still out of my price range} and she said I would not qualify. It’s crazy how I wouldn’t qualify anymore, but I can’t figure out in my budget how I am going to make it. I currently have budgeted for $200 a month for food, but that also includes diapers, wipes, toilet paper, and all of the other odds and ends. That is also not including any of the luxuries of cable and internet.

Dave and My Sister:
I found out over the weekend that my own sister allegedly set Dave up with one of her friends for a good night, if you know what I mean. My own SISTER!! She claims that she isn’t the one that set it up- that she just mentioned “wouldn’t that be crazy if you and Dave hooked up” to her friend and that her friend ran with the idea. Even still… she knew that it was happening and didn’t say anything to her friend or Dave that it probably wasn’t a good idea. In fact, she told them she wouldn’t say anything to me. And her friend knows the whole story with me and Dave and that we just broke up too. AND they never even met before!! So I pretty much feel betrayed by my own sister. She shouldn’t be having secrets with Dave that she is keeping from me! Oh.. her friend also mentioned on Facebook that I should be THANKING her for what she did and that she did it for me because they didn’t think I had the backbone to leave him before she did that. How nice of her, huh?? To have sex with a man she never met.. just for me. I feel SOO appreciative!!! {GAG!!!} Then, to make matters worse, on Sunday when my sister was coming to pick up her son which I watched over the weekend for her, I asked my Mother to tell her that we would send him out when she got to my house because I didn’t want to see her and guess what?! She came in anyways. I went downstairs since I DIDN’T WANT TO SEE HER and she stayed oh… for about 5 hours or so. So I was stuck in my room by myself for the rest of the night, while she help herself to my tv in MY house to watch the Super Bowl because she doesn’t have cable at her own house. I told my Mom to tell her to leave because I didn’t want her there, but she stayed the whole damn time… just to tick me off!!! So instead of being a b*tch like her and calling the cops {which I probably should have to teach her a lesson} I just sat in my room and watched Teen Mom instead. I didn’t really feel like watching the Super Bowl alone.

My Car:
For the past month or two I noticed that the temperature gage in my car has always been at cold and that I am not really getting heat anymore. After Dave and I broke up I asked him if he could still look at my car since he never got to it while we were together. He thankfully said that he would and came to work on it on Friday with his Dad, but ended up telling me that I would have to take it to a shop because while trying to fix it they broke a bolt and didn’t have the tools to fix it anymore. So I took it to a shop on Friday and they ended up calling me back on Saturday and told me it could cost between $700 and $1600 to fix!! So I had to find a ride to go back to the shop to pick it up since I can’t afford to pay that to fix a used car that is probably not even worth that much anymore! Oh, and I also had to pay them $50 just for looking at it. So I called Dave back and told him what they said. He said if I bought them a certain tool they would probably be able to do it. So I bought the tool they needed for $140 (which he said he gets to keep) and I also agreed to pay them both $20 each for gas. Hopefully they can actually fix it this time!!! If so, they are at least saving me hundreds of dollars.

Those are all of the worries off of the top of my head... but I’m sure there are more!!

3 comments:

  1. Man Holly you really are at a low point right now. But it can only go up from here, right? It will work out. You will get by. I know it.

    Great job on your weight loss - one plus side to that much stress is that you lose your appetite! Hopefully you can get back to healthy eating and exercise too. Remember to make YOU a priority. Not only that, exercise truly does help relieve stress. I sure wish we lived closer so we could exercise together.

    I'm ashamed of my nephew. I wish he had better morals and his life was headed a different direction. He's going to take some hard knocks along the way, guaranteed. Not saying I don't love him, I do, but I wish I could talk some sense into him.

    I hope you've been thinking about our conversation. You've been in my thoughts and prayers often!

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  2. Lots of worries but, although you didn't write about it, it looks like you can get an apartment in my building now. Yea! I think you will be able to please the manager with your references. You can also tell her how you just couldn't afford that place without Dave.
    Like Char said, things can only go up from here..so that's something to look forward to, right? You are in my prayers as well.
    Your sister explained things to me and it sounds like things were just blown out of proportion. I wish you would let Kel explain things to you. She doesn't have a TV so she stayed to watch the game with me. Sorry she didn't seem to care that you were stuck in the basement though. I think she was hoping that you'd come up and talk to her though.
    Hang in there , girlie, God loves you and will take care of you and your boys. xoxo

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  3. As I mentioned before, my last reference (current manager) probably doesn't have the best reference to give since we are breaking the lease. Who knows though if they will even call him or what. I hope things can only go up from here, but there are still things that could happen that I don't want to think about!

    Kellie always talks her way out of things so that doesn't surprise me that you believe her. The fact is, she still knew that it was going on and told them she wouldn't tell me. That's wrong of her. So whether she "set them up" or not, is not the biggest issue here. And the reason she stayed was to tick me off. She knew I didn't want her to come in and she did anyways. She could have watched the game somewhere else, but chose to make me stay in the basement of my own house while she take over my living room. All around, she cares only about herself and I don't want someoen in my life like that. So sorry if it makes you sad, but I'm not about to be friends with her anytime soon.

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